The end is near! But those bastards wont quit!

Sooo.. First off I want to say sorry for not being on as often as I would like to. But alot has been going on and theres alot involved to making an awesome blag awesome. But lets start from the begining of where we left off!

Soooo Yea about 3 weeks ago I was pulled into the first shirts office and formally told that my stripe was gone. Well I lost it. First off the Commander wasnt even the one that told me it was gone. It was the shirt. Now as I have said plenty of times before that we do not like each other. And from the other blogs before this one it really shows. Now when he told me this I about blew it. I wanted them to just discharge me and leave my stripe. But apparently its not fair for others. The same others that were able to take the Pt test 5-6 times before they had anything against them. For those of you that dont know, the fitness regulations say that this is a motivational tool. Well.....thats not entirly true. The commander uses it as punishment to show any one else in the squadron what will happen to you if you dont pass. Ok...Back to the story. Well I went balistic. Now mind you that there wasnt just me and the shirt in the office. There was also the Flight commander and the Flight chief as well as the Asst NCOIC of the shop. Guess who had nothing to say...Hmmm I wonder.....wait for it....waiiiiit for it.....keep waiting..Yea. That no response means there was no response. Well of course the shirt was more than happy to say whatever he wants. So I said "Fine if thats the way it is than Ive had I dont want to be here and I dont want to have anything to do with this place. I worked harder tha anybody to pass and because I tried my best I get punished and humiliated for it. If this was a company I would have quit along time ago and would have turned everyone in for the harassment I have been through."<< BTW I actually said this. So the shirt sits back and thinks alittle bit and says this little gem of wisdom "If that was the case than we would have fired you along time ago for not meeting standards." Well if you read my blogs before the word "standards" Just breaks the bank with me. (Gotta love old time cliches) Well I wasnt taking that to the bank (BAM---couldnt resist that) " Really sooo what your saying is that I could have sued the company for harrasment and being fired unjustly?" You want to talk about shutting someone up. Well than I was asked about how I was being harrassed. Of course I told them (without mentioning names) about the leadership talking behind my back (aka the Capt that apparently thinks I pull a there heartstrings, and shop leadership that says things to my face and behind my back)and all the looks and comments. Well what could I have expected? What do you guys think? Ill wait for your answers. And please by all means take the 2 seconds out of your day and signup so you can comment on my blogs and add your input. Please I would love to hear it. Good bad or if you just want to say "YOUR WRONG, THE AF ISNT LIKE THAT" Ill even listen. But even after going back and forth and almost coming across his desk to beat the living shit out of him. Well I restrained the best I could and just told them not to expect anything from me anymore. Needless to say they had nothing to say and I left. Well after some great support from some great people, I arranged a one on one with the Commander. That actually went really well and he told me that he would give me my seperation. And than was surprised to know that I had already done all my homework about the situation. Especially that a fitness discharge is a honorable. But in my situation since I had already completed my first enlistment, I already have a honorable discharde. Unless I would have done something stupid like drop a deuce in the shirts office. But I have a wonderful wife and family that have been a great support and some wonderful friends at work that are there for me as well. And they know who they are. I will say that it does suck to loose a stripe especially when you have people at work that dont like you and now you are the same rank as them and they feel like they have to demean you. Its tough until you realize that theyve been around alot of the shop. Aww shoot did I say that. I meant...no wait I meant that. Especially one person who had the gall to say "Damn SrA" After I said something to him over the phone. People like that, that dont think I can hear them. Of course I have a wrath. Like the Wrath of Khan only this time I wont have to steal a starship. Ill steal THERE SOULS!! Muwhaha. Well I guess thats enough for one day. But I def encourage you people to sign it. It takes 5 seconds and doesnt cost a dime and you can comment and follow my blog. I dont mind. I do think that I will have alittle more time in the future to blog so please. GET Connected for free....with education connection ;)

Just a short one...

Sorry everybody as you may have heard the snow storm here has been crazy! So I have to make this short cause theres alot I need to do ;) Ba-Dum! Any way I think the base must have read my blog because when I went to work today guess what was plowed? Yea thats right everything. Not good but I will take it. Have the last day of my TAPS class tomorw I cant wait, its the best class I have ever taken! And we might get out alittle early so thats always a plus! Any way thats it for today but I will be back tomorow!!!!!! HAPPY SNOW DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!


---DONT EAT THEY YELLOW SNOW----- Yea I said it to the dog today!

I promise

Okay guys. Well I started my transition class this week. Its been a crazy week for me. But I totally promise that a new blog is going to happen tomorrow. I will say a couple things before I leave here tho. 1. My class almost didnt happen. MSgt Krabby was trying to argue with me saying I wasnt going to get out anytime soon. Mind you this is Monday. This was his reason that I didnt need to go to this transition class. He kept arguing with me and saying he knew how the process was and I was going to be here for awhile. I finally had enough and told him point blank, this is when he wouldnt listen about what I was told about the direction my paperwork was heading, I was going to this class this week because I needed it and that if he wouldnt take the time to listen than neither was I. Well that got his attention and as he was walking away told me, "FINE! Just go!" Thankfully I didnt have to fight to much. Tho I came into my office for lunch today and found out that its in totally chaos. Like a bird that burst into flames and was crashing head first into Earth. So my co-worker heading out, Cavinaugh, who ran the training section with an obsessive compulsive attitude was duing the work. Even tho he only has 4 days of work left before he goes on leave forever. My parter in Crime Art who is still there with me, his pipes burst on his house and he has to work 12's because that all of his training stuff that he deals with is totally messed up. Every things overdue and not answered for and a million people have training due. My attitude is I let him run with his stuff, I really thought that he had it. I thought wrong. But you know what he will get it done. As long as Cavanugh can get off his ass. They are like a old gay married couple. Its pretty funny to watch there bickering, except today when he was pissing him off like no ones business. But I dont get in the middle because thats what they need to work out. And of course leadership doesnt want to hear it. They would rather just fire and re-hire someone for that position. I told Cavanuagh that they need to get the other staff in my spot so we can get him trained up. I said this for weeks but no one wanted to listen, until today when everything came to a boil. Okay enough of the bad. So I did something funny yesterday. I wanted to find out if my package had made it to legal yet. So can you guess what I did? Yea I called them up and asked. Well apparently thats a big NO-NO! The Sergeant on the other line was not happy that I did that. She kept saying "I cant tell you, you have to talk to your shirt!" So I asked the one logical question, if its about me why cant I know. Well that just made her hotter. I know why to, I called at 1130, yea you guessed it lunch time :) But I get like that sometimes. Its one of my tactics to get what I want. But alas, this time it just didnt work. But thats okay I plan on dealing with the shirt over the phone tomorrow and seeing where it is. I refuse to be one of the people that they are going to hold in limbo forever. Im watching tv and I just saw this chick with the gnarliest teeth. Im talking like punched in the face atleast twice teeth. I encourage yall to watch tru tv, there is so much funny crap and stupidity. Well I ended up writing a blog lol. But I definitely promise tomorrow I will give you more into the inside of Dover AFB. Its just been busy so just bare with me alittle :) Im here for you. Im also writing some great material for my standup during this class. Theres some very interesting characters in there that are just to funny. I will fill yall in soon.

--My name is K, Hoorah K9 working dog Hoooah! I just want to get out and work with K9 thats all I care for. Ill go back to Iraq and Afghanistan if I can work with dogs again, I love it there Hooah, and not just any dog but bomb sniffing dogs and drug dugs. Thats all I want to do-----TAPS Class

2010-Theres so much more room for activities!

So first off I want to wish everybody a Happy New year. Like millions of people are doing to everyone else on there facebooks and myspace right now. Currently I am watching South Park till midnight. God I want to use Chipotlaway for my bloodstains.
On a sad note I ran into one of my fellow co-workers tonight at Walmart. I know its New Years eve but I have a Walmart addiction. Wheres Dr Drew. I need some extra special rehab. Ya know like everytime you watch those stupid F-List celebrities in rehab and there still drinking and doing drugs. And than they have some wierd crazy sex with other uglier looking people. Besides the nasty sex. What about there kids names. Zimbabwe Muckalock, or Winnomane Chimpokiemon. I think that has to be in a contract they sign before they become famous. The one that says they have 1 get out of jail free card, and 45 go to rehab passes. Im waiting for Brad and Angelina to hit baby rehab. "Dr Drew my 14 kids wont stop trying to breast feed, what do I do?" Sorry I went off on a tangent, but ok so I ran into my fellow co-workers and they told me that instead of having there half day off they didnt leave till 5. So thanks to the amazingly awesome leadership that was working this week, who so really care about airman and there wellbeing, this is how I think it went down today. Some names have been changed to protect the ignorant.
Setting:Office
--"MSgt Bikerson its 12 and we dont really have any work left, I know its a half day but there has to be something we can make these airman do!" "TSgt Grumpy that is a splendid idea! Make them clean the entire shop until it sparkles, I dont care how long it takes because I hate being with my family; I HEART WORK!" "OH I totally forgot if anyone asks it was your idea...except if anyone important comes than it was totally my idea, as long as it looks good." Many heart smiles and laughs commence--multiple winks
Setting:Breakroom
-everyones packed up and ready to go home, civilians and contractors are already gone
enters TSgt Grumpy and MSgt Bickerson. TSgt Grumpy "Great news everybody"-everyones overjoyed thinking there going home, when "we need the entire shop spotless before we can go home, that means floors waxed and mopped everything dusted and swept and wiped down. We will be in the office on the computer and relishing in our awesomeness!" As they leave everyones morale crumbles, they slumpt to the floor in pain and the anger wells up!
Setting:Office
MSgt Bickerson "This is the greatest holiday season ever! Just make sure you go yell at everyone once and awhile and if you need to pull your stripes cause it works for me. This is what will make you get step promoted." --As the door closes the laughs from the inside muffle the sound of the airman as they bring in the gas siphoned from the trucks and a box of matches--End Scene
Ok so maybe I embelished a few things and made some stuff up. Mainly the end. But thats what Im sure everyone was thining. Like the new AF slogan --Nobody comes close...er to killing your morale! It could be a whole minseries of despair lol. Well I wish everyone the best and hopefully you try and have a great laugh tonight. Just rember that if you are going to have sex with a total stranger, where some protection, im sure yall can find a paper bag somewhere! Happy New Year!!

--I wish I could come out and play with you tonight, but I'm a little busy... with your girl on my lap.--Kid from House Party

Wintery Mix of Rage and Anger

Sooo I have to change it up today with alittle ranting. I cant help it! There was so much stupidity I just want to start handing out helmets. Almost like a helmet award. Ding fries are done!

So as most of you know we had a wonderful white Christmas. First time it snowed here for the season and there was alot. So me and my wife decided to go bowling sat night. The only real good place to go thats close, is base. The main roads are in pretty good conditions so we brave it because well who doesnt love to handle balls. So we roll through the gate and it says caution hazardous roads. Coming from Dover the minute any snow was present, they had the salt and plows ready to roll. Well they had maybe plowed the base once if that. Everything was caked in snow and ice. So were driving down the main road (Just about every base has one main road, unless your at a super huge base)and I'm starting to get alittle annoyed because nothing, and I mean nothing, is plowed. But than to my surprise we pass the wing building where everyone on base is centered(aka wing king). Guess where the plows were? Yea they were plowing a building that was totally vacant. And that was going to be vacant. I was pissed. And no I wasnt pissed because the bowling alley wasnt plowed I was mad because what about the shoppette, community center, movie theater, and all the other things that familys can do,if it was plowed. Mind you the family's that live on base, if they wanted to go and see a movie they would have to drag there kids through all this. All so a vacant building can be plowed. Is this actually part of the snow plan or was this for a medal worthy endeavour. Heres the kicker to, I had to go to the education center Monday. They were plowing the last little bit off the main road. But the back roads to the education center there were people stuck in the snow and everything was iced. Soo yea.
Heres my other complaint. The finance office. Now heres the thing. I respect them they have a pretty important job. Typing can get pretty tricky, all those words and numbers. Especially reading, one of the hardest things of all in life. Well for starters there "Working hours" are 9-3 all holidays,down days, and weekends off. Now I know they prob have meetings in the morning and maybe afternoon and they probably work more than that. Im not that naive. By now your probably going "This isnt so bad!" Whats there to complain about? Well think about this, what about all the midshift workers...now they have to stay up till 9 just to get anything finance related taken care of. So that cuts into there time. And what about wait time? Well on one base there has to be alot of finance personell to service everybody, and there is a fair amount of civilians to. So as a example I went there just today. Now there was atleast 2 civilians and 8 GI's. Well I was lucky that I was one of the first people in this morning. There was 6 other people waiting with me. Well take a guess of how many people were waiting on us customers. Yea you guessed 1 person. But in everybody else's defense it was the first day back to work. And they had to tell jokes, and dance, and surf craigslist. I'm not making this up either. Ill even share alittle of there magicians code with you on how they disappear. Theres 2 computers on the counter. Instead of using those to help you, they will go back to there cubical with your Id and say they have to get on to there system to check. Well heres the kicker. For most of them checking there system is finishing up a email of reading there email. Or chatting with there friends. Until they either finish what there original purpose was, or notice that you can see them and than realize they should probably come back to the customer.
So Im sorry for the rant. I had to share this with yall. It just irritates me to no end. Because we invest all this money and resources into something that is so horribly flawed. My last base had to deal with far more people and they had it down to a science. I blame alot of this on complacency, there leadership, and the fact of just not really caring. Sorry about not getting into the good parts of my life today. But this has been building up and I had to share it. Im sure alot of you will read this and transfer jobs to finance. I dont blame you. There might be a hint of jealousy, but more so its that if I just felt to slack off and not care there could be millions of dollars of damage, not a bunch of people pissed off that you screwed up there pay. Which as this blogger has heard happens often.

I want a liter cola...

Good morning yall. Well had a great time last night, watched Inglorius Basterds with the family. Its funny to see my mother-in-laws face when they shoot people and scalp them. I few people really want me to put my Whiteman adventures on here as well. So after care full consideration, and some rum, I decided once a week I will start posting the Whiteman adventures. Granted its alittle more modern time and in some ways a B2 is much cooler than a C5 or C17 (At least I never have to work outside again)-Sorry all of my C5 brethren. After years of working outside in the cold and heat, working inside makes me feel like a God. Now that I work in a office I just feel like an evil genius. (It would be even better if I could 2 monitors than me and pinky could take over the world) Well enough of me lets get on with the show!!

So here I am feeling pretty good about being at Dover. Yeaaaaa. Ep ushers me out of his office in the back. With B not far in tow. He briefly stopped on our journey to yell out to random people, things like "Hey dont give me that look your moms the only one thats allowed to give me that look." In time I would come to realize that his mouth had gotten him in alot of trouble, and Im sure it still does to this day. Finally we get back to the front office where the two woman are still sitting there. B introduces them as Nikki and Vee.(By now you should have known that the names have been changed. The reason is cause things get alittle crazy in the story, ya know protect the innocent. Especially when they end up in some guys pants with another guy behind them. That old chestnut.)Apparently they had been friends since they had gotten to Dover. Sometimes even very close friends when they were drinking. They really didnt pay any mind, B had noticed and started laughing and led me out the front door and back to that POS Nissan. We took the 3 minute drive to what would be my new home for a long time. He leads me into the Dorm managers office, which is a field stripped dorm room with a computer and desk. She had her purse on and was ready to leave herself. "Here, sign this." She had pushed the dorm acceptance paper in front of me with my key. All I can remember thinking was "Damn I wonder where my craptastic refrigerator box for a room is." "All right youre good, have fun!" And she ushered B and i out the door. Now we began the hunt for room 108. Of course it has to be all the way across the building. Becuase at this point I really felt like walking my happy ass anymore, and in my blues no less. We get to this door with the numbers 108 just barely hanging on to it, covered in cobwebs and spiders. What was I going into a crappy Pirate movie. "Here we go" As I open the door the stale pungent aroma of mildew flooded my nose. There was my one bed, dresser, desk, mini fridge and shared bathroom. This wasnt going to be fun!
B helped me to carry all of my bags into this gerber carpeted shit hole of a room. He had to get back to his wife, 4 kids, and 4 cats. Than it happened! "Hey P, omg its you!" You know whenever youve met someone youve really hated and despised, someone that was the biggest retarded idiot ever in the history of mentally challenged circus midgets. This was it. I dead stopped and prayed to any God that maybe there was another Perretti out there. No, there wasnt just me. The world spiraled into a dark abyss. "Hey Farva" (This was his true nickname given to him) "OMG man its been awhile hey come on let me introduce you to some of the guys in the dorm" Being the nice guy that I can be,sometimes ,I followed along to the third story. At that point I was in ignore mode, he was going on about tech school and how much fun he had. It seemed like hours but we finally made it. "Hey Anna" Farva called out to this woman sitting on a chair outside of her room. The look on her face couldnt have said it any better either. Remember the movie Raiders of the Lost Ark, at the end the look when there faces melted off. That would be the best way to descirbe this. However Anna's look when she saw me was one of intrigue. By this time I had changed from my buisness like atire to jeans and a Tshirt, as to atleast try to kill the appearance of the new guy. "Im gonna take it that you are the new guy?" I couldnt say no,after our initial meeting I was to learn that she enjoyed the guys in the dorm. Alittle to much so that her roomate had to switch rooms so she wouldnt be woken up at night from the screams. Or fake orgasms, one look tho I would have to say fake orgasms. Either that or it slipped into the wrong hole one to many times. Either way she struck up a conversation with me immeadiatly ignoring Farva. I couldnt blame her tho I wanted to ignore Farva to. He ended up talking to himself for a few minutes than struck a conversation with this guy that was drinking with Anna. Anna and I went on about little things, where I was from things I was into, the usual BS. It was starting to get late by this time, and in all honesty I didnt want a one night hook up from a chick that had more crabs than a carribean beach. So I bid my farewell,and planned my escape from Farva. She was nice enough to do me the favor of luring him into her room with the promises of beer and porn.(I leanrned later that niether of which he got..haha) With that I made a swift run for it down the hall and out the otherside of the building. It was my first night in an unholy land and I needed to have it my way that night. BK to the rescue!

--Don’t call me Junior--Last Crusade

Neverending Story 2

Well I decided to keep going with my story this afternoon. So where did we leave off.


CLICK! So there I was. Sitting alone in the visitors center with Maury. After about 20 minuts and trying to figure out who the babys daddy was, a car pulled up. I kind of figured it was for me because it was a late Friday afternoon and its the AF so everyone was pretty much gone. In walks (well call him B). He walked right up to me and said "grab your shit." I may have been new but there was no way in hell someone who I had never met was going to say that to me. "Who the fuck are you talking to?" Was my response. The look on his face went from scowl to a smile. He than introduced himself as B. As he helped me grab my stuff ,and put it into is 1989 Nissan Hatchback, I began to realize that I wasnt in Kansas anymore. The sound of roaring turbines and the smell of Jet blast filled the air. He went on to tell me about the shop and the clicks and what it was like on base. We pulled up to the parking lot infront of the sheetmetal shop. There was hardly any cars there and the people that were there were walking out. (later I would learn that everybody schedules appointments on a Friday-legit or not)I walked in to what would be come to be known as one of the many layers of hell. Being the new guy the people that were there stopped and stared as B walked me into the office to introduce myself. The first person I noticed was the girl from the phone. She was eyeing me up and down along with the other girl that was sitting at the desk. Before I could even say hi, there was a loud bellow from all the way on the other side of the shop. "I FOUND MY NEW GUY" I glanced out from behind the door and all I could make out was a short man that could have been the set stand in for the staypuff marshmallow man. He scurried into the office as fast as he could (I was hoping he wouldnt die from the walk)and shook my hand. He introduced himself as EP. He ushered me out of the office and back tword the tool crib, where his office was. He looked at the clock and was astounded (as I can only imagine was the fact that he was still here) he grabbed the phone and called over tword the dorms to see if there was a room available. There was one that was ready to go and thank god it was on the 1st floor right next to the laundry room (These dorms are 3 storys high and can hold about 200 people)So he told B to take me to the dorms and get my room key. Ep turned to me and said "Look dont bother to come in till Monday morning at 730 and for the sake of all that is holy please dont come in that POS blue thing, BDU's are ok." From that point on with EP I knew it wasnt going to be all bad.

So that concludes this chapter of life. Im heading out for the evening to enjoy alittle but of R+R with my lovely wife. And as usual shes out the door before me. It cant possibly be because i farted again, can it?


-- Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue-- Airplane