I want a liter cola...

Good morning yall. Well had a great time last night, watched Inglorius Basterds with the family. Its funny to see my mother-in-laws face when they shoot people and scalp them. I few people really want me to put my Whiteman adventures on here as well. So after care full consideration, and some rum, I decided once a week I will start posting the Whiteman adventures. Granted its alittle more modern time and in some ways a B2 is much cooler than a C5 or C17 (At least I never have to work outside again)-Sorry all of my C5 brethren. After years of working outside in the cold and heat, working inside makes me feel like a God. Now that I work in a office I just feel like an evil genius. (It would be even better if I could 2 monitors than me and pinky could take over the world) Well enough of me lets get on with the show!!

So here I am feeling pretty good about being at Dover. Yeaaaaa. Ep ushers me out of his office in the back. With B not far in tow. He briefly stopped on our journey to yell out to random people, things like "Hey dont give me that look your moms the only one thats allowed to give me that look." In time I would come to realize that his mouth had gotten him in alot of trouble, and Im sure it still does to this day. Finally we get back to the front office where the two woman are still sitting there. B introduces them as Nikki and Vee.(By now you should have known that the names have been changed. The reason is cause things get alittle crazy in the story, ya know protect the innocent. Especially when they end up in some guys pants with another guy behind them. That old chestnut.)Apparently they had been friends since they had gotten to Dover. Sometimes even very close friends when they were drinking. They really didnt pay any mind, B had noticed and started laughing and led me out the front door and back to that POS Nissan. We took the 3 minute drive to what would be my new home for a long time. He leads me into the Dorm managers office, which is a field stripped dorm room with a computer and desk. She had her purse on and was ready to leave herself. "Here, sign this." She had pushed the dorm acceptance paper in front of me with my key. All I can remember thinking was "Damn I wonder where my craptastic refrigerator box for a room is." "All right youre good, have fun!" And she ushered B and i out the door. Now we began the hunt for room 108. Of course it has to be all the way across the building. Becuase at this point I really felt like walking my happy ass anymore, and in my blues no less. We get to this door with the numbers 108 just barely hanging on to it, covered in cobwebs and spiders. What was I going into a crappy Pirate movie. "Here we go" As I open the door the stale pungent aroma of mildew flooded my nose. There was my one bed, dresser, desk, mini fridge and shared bathroom. This wasnt going to be fun!
B helped me to carry all of my bags into this gerber carpeted shit hole of a room. He had to get back to his wife, 4 kids, and 4 cats. Than it happened! "Hey P, omg its you!" You know whenever youve met someone youve really hated and despised, someone that was the biggest retarded idiot ever in the history of mentally challenged circus midgets. This was it. I dead stopped and prayed to any God that maybe there was another Perretti out there. No, there wasnt just me. The world spiraled into a dark abyss. "Hey Farva" (This was his true nickname given to him) "OMG man its been awhile hey come on let me introduce you to some of the guys in the dorm" Being the nice guy that I can be,sometimes ,I followed along to the third story. At that point I was in ignore mode, he was going on about tech school and how much fun he had. It seemed like hours but we finally made it. "Hey Anna" Farva called out to this woman sitting on a chair outside of her room. The look on her face couldnt have said it any better either. Remember the movie Raiders of the Lost Ark, at the end the look when there faces melted off. That would be the best way to descirbe this. However Anna's look when she saw me was one of intrigue. By this time I had changed from my buisness like atire to jeans and a Tshirt, as to atleast try to kill the appearance of the new guy. "Im gonna take it that you are the new guy?" I couldnt say no,after our initial meeting I was to learn that she enjoyed the guys in the dorm. Alittle to much so that her roomate had to switch rooms so she wouldnt be woken up at night from the screams. Or fake orgasms, one look tho I would have to say fake orgasms. Either that or it slipped into the wrong hole one to many times. Either way she struck up a conversation with me immeadiatly ignoring Farva. I couldnt blame her tho I wanted to ignore Farva to. He ended up talking to himself for a few minutes than struck a conversation with this guy that was drinking with Anna. Anna and I went on about little things, where I was from things I was into, the usual BS. It was starting to get late by this time, and in all honesty I didnt want a one night hook up from a chick that had more crabs than a carribean beach. So I bid my farewell,and planned my escape from Farva. She was nice enough to do me the favor of luring him into her room with the promises of beer and porn.(I leanrned later that niether of which he got..haha) With that I made a swift run for it down the hall and out the otherside of the building. It was my first night in an unholy land and I needed to have it my way that night. BK to the rescue!

--Don’t call me Junior--Last Crusade